Time to get blogging again

I suppose I need to get blogging again. So many stories to tell, so many lessons to share, so many sadness to learn from and so many memories to saviour.

Facebook friends

For your kind information, my PhD thesis was on social network, and how workers in international companies can use their intra-organisational social networks to facilitate intra-organisational knowledge sharing. So naturally, I believe that social networks contribute to knowledge search and sharing. I have another point to add - ONLY WHEN WE USE OUR SOCIAL NETWORKS SINCERELY AND STRATEGICALLY (in social settings, not organisational contexts).


Facebook and other social network sites have elevated human relationships and interactions to a whole different platform. What used to be topics that are reserved for people whom you are very intimate with, are now publicly discussed. What used to be conversations enjoyed between a small and intimate group of friends, are now invaded by comments from people outside that intimate group with annoying, insignificant, non-value added remarks such as "hahahaha." What should be shared between a husband and wife within the context of their life and marriage, is now opened for interpretation and debate by their Facebook friends, who may not even be friends in the truest sense of the word. The thoughts I consider to be shared and appreciated with the most important people in my life, are now shared with every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally, and those people they share that information with. And more disturbingly, trivial matters such as ironing your clothes, having a cup of coffee, or going to the convenience store, are now subjects of debate and consideration. Do we have too much time now in our hands that we talk about trivial matters that don't add significant value to others around us?


From my raw observation of the behaviours (updating status, commenting, uploading photos, and playing games etc... whatever people do on Facebook) of my Facebook friends, and friends of friends who have public profiles, allow me to summarize the types of people I find on Facebook.


1. Constant whiners and whingers.
Those who rant, whine, complain about, and broadcast every little thing that makes them slightly upset, remotely unhappy, (insignificantly) accomplished or trivially challenged. They whine about the mounting laundry (now that's interesting news) and their outrage of the lack of parking spot at a shopping mall, they celebrate their pet's milestones, and they must tell us (via check-in) where they are at, and of course it has to be either at the gym, a flashy restaurant and un-exotic places.


Bear in mind, constant whiners and whingers have this opinion that because it is their walls/timelines, they can pretty well do, write and say whatever they want to say. Yes, I agree with that, but don't blame me when I put you in this category.


2. Kim Kardashians.
Those who use the site for impression creation and management. They post statuses, photos, links and notes on Facebook to create the impression of how successful, fulfilling, accomplished and polished they are. I have observed two sub-types of Facebook friends under this category - (1) those who wish upon every little star in the sky, every night and every day, that their Facebook persona are real, and their real selves are a fake, and (2) those who create a Facebook persona that they want others to view them, but they actually act/talk/behave differently in real life. These people believe that their Facebook friends take their statuses, likes, photos, links and notes at face value. My dear Facebook subscribers, many of us do analyze what you say/post on Facebook, not all the time, but we do ponder on the motives, we add voices to your statuses, we judge your photos, and we do not consider the context in which you make that remark/comment. And when we are in a foul mood, we interpret your 'trivial accomplishment' as OTT boasting, your 'upsetting situation' as whining, your nobler-than-thou advices as fake facades, and your constant re-posting of others' photos and statuses as UNORIGINAL!


3. The next Zuckerberg-wannabes.
Many entrepreneurial-ly naive people use the site to launch their business/ product/ service. It may be initially entrepreneurial, but wait till you are tagged on acaiberry juice, or baby crocheted hat, a foot detox patch, and got sent 151 comments from others who asked how much or commented on how pretty it is but gives no indication nor interest to actually buy the product. The keyword is to use Facebook selectively, know when and what information about the products and services you offer should go on Facebook, and what should be discussed outside the site. And please update and respond to the questions and queries about your products/services. You are creating a whole new (bad) impression about yourself and your business model when you leave the questions from your potential customers unanswered. The best way to go for me, is to use the Page feature, rather than use your personal Facebook page as your business' page.


4. Fame seekers.
Those who tag their friends on photos of themselves in quirky poses, their less-than-tasty lasagna, their loots from their latest visit to the shopping malls, their own or their baby's, kid's or husband's funny poses or special costumes, and their most recent 'funny' discovery. Once in a while okay, but all the time? What's up with that? You're cluttering my news feed! Ergh. And I don't want to be tagged in a photo with 10 other unknown people only because you want to tell me (and 16 other friends) that you had dinner at this fancy restaurant!)


5. English teachers' BIGGEST NIGHTMARE.
Those who don't respect grammar, sentence structure and punctuation. WHatz UP wIth r8ing lyke dis? And why is it now becoming too difficult to write in coherent sentences with proper punctuation? Why do people abbreviate the most beautiful greeting (Salam), but add additional letter to 'chomel'? Why do people replace 'no' or 'tidak' with x, but put three sometimes four dots (instead of one dot for a fullstop) in between what is supposed to be a sentence? Trying to be cute is so 1980s, so when you say 'tomeeeeei' or 'kiut-miut,' that goes to show you're not so bright.


Some of my Facebook friends who can drive their English teachers up the wall even has a PhD! She was under pressure and updated her status with


"The pressure of research is now arrived!"


And, she recently completed a draft to be submitted to a journal and her Facebook profile goes like this:


yeehaa...my 1st draft of my 1st journal in Aussie completed! darling (tagged her husband),tmr u can threat me ok!sooo happy..


And some of the people in this category are English teachers themselves! 


I rest my case, and Mr Husband, you must also threat me.


6. Those who are too easily pleased. They 'like' posts, status updates, photos and links that I don't even consider worthwhile of the 2 seconds of my life. And the problem with the "Like" button is when a person actually liked the status or photo or liked the fact that the person posted that update or photo. You can't really tell the difference anymore, and most times, I go Huuuuuuh?????!!


For example, when people "like" this status:

tired + blur + panicking mode.. the more you find literature..the more you dont know what to do.. :( this is really not helping


Huuuuuuuh?????? You like that your friend is in panic mode? And she didn't know heads or tail what she's doing? That's not helping at all. Thank you, friend.


7. Those who publicise their Facebook profiles with annoying names such as BihaOne JayBee, Chiaki Carol Hashimoto, Kriuk Comot, Makwe Ida, SeliparJepun ColorKuning, Pelupa Terlupa, Buli Bah Kalau Kau. These are real Facebook names. Why I even bother to look them up I don't know. 


Time to check Facebook. Again.

In her shoes

I lost the most important person in my life this year. The events leading up to her more-or-less-expected, but much-too-soon demise, were stressful, heart-wrenching and at best true tests to my faith. I have been reminded by families and friends that at least we were given due 'warning' and opportunities to spend time with her during her last days.

So I left my job and my husband in Auckland to be with my mother. Doctors predicted 3 to 6 months for her, but God gave us 6 weeks. During that 6 weeks, I learned a second set of skills - nursing care. I learned how to turn a bedridden patient, be aware of signs of (even the slightest) pain, lift a weak person up from bed and onto a wheelchair, handle and drive a hospital bed, dress wounds, sponge, and do this all without showing signs of despair. Without sounding too boastful, my cousin once commented how strong I was to do the things I do and still put a smile on my face for Mak's visitors. What people don't know is how difficult it was to face the reality, and how stressful it was to resist external pressures that I know are all done with good intentions for what is best for us. My family has been amazing in supporting us, emotionally, physically and financially, Alhamdulillah.

What I realised having just had a laparotomy surgery recently, is how uncomfortable it is to lie on a bed for a long time, how restless it is to be dependent on others on things we take for granted such as going to the toilet, having showers or simply getting up from bed, how uneasy it is to have to sit or lie down in uncomfortable positions etc. I whinged to my husband about the pain, the uneasiness, the fact that I couldn't do my routines, how I can't sit down and do my work at the desk, and I can't get out of the house for a walkabout. And, having experienced all this, I realised that arwah Mak, not once complained about pain, whined about her uneasiness, or grumbled about having forced to sit or lie down in a certain position. She didn't complain about how doctors poked her fragile hands and neck (her hand was so bloated from the drip line that doctors had to resort to put the drip line at her neck), how nurses treated her, how we forced her to eat, or to lie on her side because she had been on her back far too long, how we made her turn on her side, and her face cringed when we wanted to clean her, how we forced her to get up from bed and onto the wheelchair for some fresh air outside. She must be pretty annoyed with us asking her what she wants to eat almost every hour, yet she just said she wasn't hungry in gentle manners. So what right did I have to whine and whinge? Now that I have been in her shoes, for something not even remotely close to what she was diagnosed with, and not even near to what she had to go through, NONE AT ALL.

Not one minute goes by that I don't think about her. Al-Fatihah to Mak. I miss you.

P/S: Hope you guys didn't need a tissue :)